Keywords Suck

Have you ever thought to yourself “Hey this blog/book is quite nice, I find this standard looking content quite funny and engaging, maybe I could start a blog as well; write some things I wanted to write about for years, in my head they sound hilarious, I must put them on paper. I even remember that funny 250-word forum post I made back when I was 11, everyone laughed. I was the shit back then.”?

I did.

So I went ahead and wrote about some of the things I was itching to write about. And it sucked. I kept working on it so much it stopped sucking; not because it ceased to be crap, but because I was exposed to it for so long that it seemed half-decent to me, and to me only. Then some inner voice told me not to publish. Eventually, I forgot about the whole thing.

After a few long months, I got back into the groove, and I managed to write more loosely, my ambitions are no longer over-the-top like they used to be, which opened me up. Now, I started up this blog due to a sudden itch, and it feels great. But I realize that half the work of being a blogger is messing around with keywords, promotion, and a bunch of other shit which has nothing to do with writing – and that makes me quite fucking upset.

Guess what I have been doing these days. If you are clever enough, you might even remember the title of the post after that short, full-page introduction you just read through. I was understanding how keywords work for Google.

Doing keyword research is a daunting task, you feel like you are limited by what other people search on google: porn, shoes, and whoever the current Justin Bieber is. (After checking what is going on in google trends, it is actually Kim Kardashian who is being top-searched right now.) I do not want to write about any of these, even though my taste in shoes is quite spectacular, I will take a different approach. I say fuck to keywords because I rather write what I want to write about, and disregard all the bullshit suggestions I find online regarding putting keywords research as a priority. Screw marketing wisdom.

I am not saying that I will ignore that completely, I will just not let that guide me. I will still be researching how to make myself bigger than a germ when it comes to being on Google, and have those ideas sit on the back of mind, while I keep producing high-quality garbage content.

Ok, good, I got 400 words down, and the non-alcoholic beer has just kicked in. If I keep going I might even sober up from the half-a-percent alcohol bottle I just consumed, and realize where the trashcan-button is on this page, so I can find my today’s written gem a suiting home – in a virtual trash bin.

There are interesting measures I could still make to get this blog going without pissing myself off. It involves backlinking, outlinking, inlinking, sidelinking and a bunch of other dirty sounding nerdy shit, which basically mean your site’s URL should appear in nice place; Like the Buckingham palace for instance, just it’s internet equivalent. Wherever that place may be, I am sure as shit to spray my URL all over its pavement, once I find it.

Here is a little secret: as it stands, it is quite beneficial to add links in your page to outside sources. outlinking makes google bot think you are legit and this is why you see it so commonly used nowadays, including phrases repeated throughout the content, phrases which are common search terms. Unfortunately, as long as the content is half-decent, this strategy is most effective, and masses of idiots will flock to your site; Which is probably a blog about vegan recipes or squatting workouts for best booty. (An Awesome ass can be achieved both through eating the right vegan recipe or doing the proper workout, but it is advisable to follow all strategies to maximize the effect. In order to eat a vegan recipe – you need to print it out and eat it.)

I wish the day comes when search engines optimize for content you would prefer to see in a book, rather than prioritizing for dumbass half thought-out sentences that make people click fast, and get stupid even faster.

It is mandatory to add my sources here: www.google.com – the place where I found all my information, I recommend you guys on using it every time you are looking for something that is only kind of ok, but I would not get my hopes too high for anything you find on being actually good. I recommend you searching the query “just another fucking day”, so you can end up here, back where you started – like me, ending up in the same place every day, when I wake up.

This has been theZilber, I hope you enjoyed the time waste. Now you can go back to your google searching activities. Have a nice time.